The First Move / How to Approach Women

Tim asks: "learn how to make the first move and how to approch woman"
Ron asks: "Hey Marcus, how are we supposted to start? like, when i see a girl that i'm attracted to, what do i do now?"
Many others ask: "What is the first step to attraction?!"

As you can see, the first move is asked a lot. Even though I encourage people to put a more detailed story (do you go to high school? are you trying to attract women at bars? etc.), I will share with you the first step to attraction.

The very first step is: OPENING
Opening a girl is walking up to her and saying something! Let me just tell all you guys out there right now... if you don't walk up to girls and talk to them, you are not getting a girlfriend anytime soon. Saying "hi" to a girl is 50 times better than saying nothing at all!

So let's start:

Guys have asked me if there are clever pick up lines that I use to get all the girls, which leads me to another little secret that people should know by now: PICK UP LINES DO NOT WORK! It's just stupid. You pretty much ask the girl if she wants to get into bed with you and have sex. That's what all women think whenever you use a pick up line so don't use these. I can't stress enough.

Okay fine... no more pick up lines. But then what should I start the conversation with?!

Most girls out there, especially attractive ones, are either with their friend or a group of friends. The girl that you are attracted to will become your target while her friend or group of friends are the obstacles. Most people know by now that girls protect their friends from creeps so don't get too attached with your target and only talk to her, because you will bore the obstacles and pull her away from you.

You need to bring her obstacles into your conversation so they can also respect you! Think of it this way; if you walk in a circle with people talking with each other and laughing, then they see you come in the circle and start talking to one of the girls ONLY inside the group. They will be more protective on her because they don't have your respect or trust.

Now let's rewind. You walk into the group of people, smiling (OF COURSE), and you start introducing yourself to everyone, being friendly with your target's friends. You should always introduce yourself to the target LAST. I do this so it shows your target and her friends that you aren't hitting on her. Great ways to spark a conversation in a group (which I will call a set from now on) is by asking the people in it a question that concerns you and you need advice. This will bring the people together and talk about your situation and they will start offering advice. Girls love hearing this kind of stuff because it is interesting to talk about (but it all depends on the situation you need help with... don't ask advice on what Operating System you should get from your laptop...)

Some good, funny examples:

#1:
PUA: Can I have a female opinion on something?
HB: Yes/What? /No!
PUA: Do I look Gay?
HB: Yes/That's a stupid question/No (I usually get No)
PUA: Well, I'm here with my friends, so I can't stay with you guys, but we were hanging out in [insert bar/pub/lounge/club name] and this one guy approached me and started flirting with me.
Then you can play silly and fluff them up by asking them if you should wear a pink sweater.

#2:
Hey guys, I need a female opinion. Do you believe in karma?
If you don't know, Karma is a belief that whatever you do comes back to you, e.g. if you do something good, something good will happen to you, and vice versa.
OK, I'm actually with my friends here, but I can stay some time ... some things happened to one of my friends, and so I'm starting to believe that there really is something similar to karma. Listen to what happened to him.
So one of my friends was throwing a party. And of course there was alcohol involved. So this other friend, who was a little bit pissed, arrived in the middle of the party. So in the end of the evening they both got into a fight, and are sworn enemies now.
And some weeks back there's another party happening. So one of my friends is invited to the party and the other friend’s sister. So you can predict what will happen and they hook up and are in love.
And now I don't understand either that is karma, or do girls just like jerks. :P
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I personally don't use this opening because I find the story to be kind of lame but the premise is great. Talking about karma, and how she can't reject you, because she is going to die lonely then. The punch line is also very predictable, but it works.

What if the girl is by herself? She's sitting down at the bus stop bench or something.

I prefer to keep away from opinion openings because... think about it... you walk up to her and ask for her opinion about something, she'll be like "umm why me? Why you need my help for?" I learned this the hard way when I asked a girl at a restaurant for her opinion and then she started to shit-test me, asking me why I need her opinion and why I couldn't ask anyone else. Bad move on my part so I just said to her, "Wow... okay fine, I'll ask someone else more helpful." Then that is when I ejected away from there and opened a set (group of three girls) with the same opinion opening and they were more than glad to help me out. See! I learn from my mistakes by being social! I learned that it's better to say an opinion opening to a group of people than it is to say it to a single person.

Whenever I do see a single girl by herself, I usually say a functional opener. Functional openers carry the lowest risk-reward profile. They relate to conversational subjects (usually
questions) that most people feel socially bound to answer. For example: “Do you have a light?” or “Do you know how to get to X Street / X Restaurant / X Place?” Usually these openers aren't that great but if you can pull it off successfully by continuing with the conversation without showing any interest to her, you will be able to attract the girl. Here's a perfect example of a successful Functional Opener (from a PUA named Harlequin):

Harlequin: “Excuse me, do you have the time?”
Julia: “2:20...”
Harlequin: “Damn, I’m late... do you know the way
to the sports centre? I got a game starting in 10
minutes...”
[She either knows or she doesn’t...]
Harlequin: “It’s just over there, huh? Damn what a
trek... can I get a piggy back?”
[I was on the way to Leeds Olympic Pool - which
had to be renamed Leeds International Pool because
the builders messed up and made it one inch short
of 50 meters. I was full of energy and enthusiasm
and saw this woman. I approached her less than
500 yards from the pool and asked her for directions
and she didn’t know... so I teased her about
this and then directed her to the pool. It was zany,
but she loved it. Before I approached her, she was
standing alone at the bus stop and then some nutter
(me) approaches and makes her laugh. That made
her happy that I was there; it’s better than being
alone. She ended up ignoring her bus when it came
by.]
Harlequin: “What? That was yours? You just missed
your bus?”
Julia: “Yeah... I’m supposed to signal”
Harlequin: “Wow... not only do you not know where
the world’s greatest non-Olympic pool is, but you
suck with public transport...”
Julia: “Well I was kind of distracted...”
Harlequin: “Are you one of those women that stands
on the street at night... waiting for taxis, or are you
the sort that books one in advance?”

…and off Harlequin and Julia go into a normal conversation.

That is a great way to tease a girl and get into a normal conversation without her feeling strange with you. Remember that you need to make her feel comfortable with you by negging (teasing her playfully) her or showing no attraction to her. I highly recommend guys out there to never show attraction to a girl until she does. Here's a quick plan for you (created by a well known PUA named Mystery):

1) OPEN - to get you into her group and in front of the girl
2) F2M female to male attract - to get her attracted to you
3) M2F male to female attract - to show that you have grown attracted to her for legitimized reasons.

-Marcus
GoodSideoftheNet.com Attraction and Love Advice