Having Good Body Language

I've received quite a few questions about body language and if I have any tips on what is good posture and what is bad posture. Well, a great book called Magic Bullets, has a really great section all about Body Language and I will present to you all the list. I highly recommend every guy out there to purchase this book because it really has the best advice on attracting women. I've read the book personally and it changed my life (relationship wise :P).

Here is the good body language list from the book Magic Bullets:

Good body language is relaxed, calm, and confident. Bad body language is associated with (and usually comes from) insecurity, nervousness, and defensiveness.
As a general rule, if a position looks uncomfortable, it conveys low status. This is true whether or not a position happens to be comfortable for you. High-status men do not tend to squish themselves into awkward or uncomfortable positions. Partly because of this, we respect the principle of “locking in”.

Locking In
Within the first 30-60 seconds of an interaction (longer in some specific cases, but shoot for this timeframe), you should be adopting a comfortable and socially-dominant physical position relative to the group you approach. This is especially true if the group is primarily made up mostly of women, but it also applies to mixed groups as well.

The most common example of locking in comes when you are leading up against a wall or a bar and the group is facing you.

This sounds harder to achieve than it really is in reality. Once you’ve been talking to a group for a few seconds, you can move around (or gently move the people you are speaking to) to establish this position. Just keep talking as if nothing is happening.

If the group doesn’t happen to be near an appropriate vertical surface, you can wait a bit longer
and then as you solidify the group’s interest, you can slowly move and motion for the group to follow you, so that you establish this position.

Locking in also refers to sitting down with a group that is already seated. Deliver your false time
constraint as you sit. Use body language for the first couple minutes that you are
sitting down to imply that you are about to leave.

Locking in is very important. If you stay standing next to seated group or face a group that has a
wall behind it and you’re obviously the outsider, you will lose value. Your physical positioning will imply that you are hitting on them, regardless of what you say. Not only will the group notice, but other people in the venue will notice. And you’ll lose value with other groups you subsequently approach.

The following list highlights the most important body language dos and don’ts. But they don’t all have the same importance. Focus first on everything in the head and face section (especially eye contact) and keeping your shoulders back. It’s hard to simultaneously focus on 18 different things that your body is doing, especially while you’re also trying to carry on a conversation. So focus on a couple of them at a time, internalize them until you don’t have to consciously think about them, and then move on to the next ones.

Overall Posture

• Don’t lean forward to talk to someone. Tilt your head if you need to, but don’t lean in so someone can hear you or so you can hear them. If you’re having trouble being heard, speak up. If you can’t hear someone, either carry on talking (before the Qualification phase) or suggest you move somewhere quieter (in the Qualification phase or subsequently).
• Don’t slouch. Stand up straight. Sit straight. Not like a statue, you need to be relaxed a little bit, but don’t hunch your shoulders or curve your back.
• Take up space. Within the boundaries of social politeness, don’t be overly concerned about others’ personal space. Men who are comfortable taking more physical space tend to be more attractive to women.

Head and Face

• Eye contact is probably the most important element of body language. Hold eye contact 50% of the time when you are being spoken to and 90% of the time when you are speaking. If you are speaking to a group, switch eye contact between group members; at any given time, you should be making eye contact with one of them. At least early on, everyone in a group should get roughly equal attention; if anything, the woman you are interested in should get slightly less, not more. This helps make you a challenge to her.
• Keep your head up. Your neck should always be straight unless there is a specific reason to look down. This is a difficult one to internalize. Check yourself regularly. When I was learning to improve my body language, I focused on my head by doing a random spot-check every time I heard a phone ring.
• Relax your facial muscles, especially around your eyes and mouth. Go for a facial massage if you need to learn what relaxed facial muscles feel like.
• Smile. Show some teeth with your smile. Practice your smiles in front of the mirror. You should be smiling more often than not. Smiling actually releases positive brain chemicals, and this will help you develop a naturally positive and outgoing demeanor. And don’t just smile with your mouth. The eyes are equally important and are the easiest way to tell between a fake and a real smile.

Chest and Shoulders

• Keep your shoulders relaxed, down, and back. This is another difficult one to internalize and can also benefit from the “spot check” technique described above.
• When your shoulders are back, your chest should come out a bit. Don’t puff up your chest any more than happens naturally through good shoulder positioning….unless you’re auditioning for the role as an extra on a Conan the Barbarian remake.

Legs and Feet

• Keep your feet at least shoulder-width apart when you are standing.
• Allow your legs to take up a reasonable amount of space when sitting – don’t curl your legs under you or do anything to minimize the physical space you occupy.
• When you’re walking take big (but not ridiculous) steps but walk slower than normal. Your walk should communicate confidence and power.

Arms and Hands

• Don’t fidget. Fidgeting implies nervousness and insecurity. If you tend to fidget, keep away from objects that may be problematic for you (pens, rings, napkins, etc.).
• Keep your hands out of your pockets.
• Don’t make sudden wild gestures.
• Don’t let your arms become a barrier between you and someone you are talking to (e.g., holding a drink between you).
• If you’re like me and naturally have major problems making your hands behave themselves when you’re in conversation, consider hooking one or both of your thumbs into belt loops of your pants or the top of your pockets.
• When you walk, keep your arms relaxed and to the side of your body.

Once again, the above valuable information is from a book called Magic Bullets. Check it out and learn more great attraction tips!

-Marcus
http://www.goodsideofthenet.com/advice